1. Get Berta (Holiday Nanny Berta) more often.

2. Stay in resorts that cater for kids.

3. Con the kids to eat properly.

4. Don't stay in Legian.

5. 10 days is enough.

6. Roof top pools are too cold - yes, really.

7. Go alone.

8. Take the kids down the beach each evening for total entertainment with no grizzles.

9. Get Berta, order takeaway for kids, then go out for a nice dinner and drinks.

10. If you want a holiday, leave 'em at home.